Episode 8 - We've got a LENTIL cooking!

The longest few seconds of our week happens in an ultrasound room when nobody is talking. Then we finally get the moment we’ve been working toward: clear signs of pregnancy at six weeks and two days, early cardiac activity, and the first real exhale we’ve had in a long time.

If you connect with infertility, IVF, surrogacy, or early pregnancy anxiety, hit subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave us a review with the milestone you’re working toward right now.

0:00 - Welcome Back And Big News

1:20 - Wedding Weekend And IVF Shot Logistics

4:08 - Courtside WNBA Night And First Solo Shot

8:12 - A Busy Weekend 

11:07 -  The First Ultrasound And Past Loss Fear

15:35 -  Subchorionic Hematomas Explained From Experience

21:28 - Six Weeks Baby Milestones And Next Scan

26:44 - Insurance Bills And What Coverage Missed

31:21 - Monitoring Plan And When Meds Stop

37:04 - Midwife Birth Center Care And Future Planning

41:39 - Communication Rhythms And Reassurance Tests

46:39 - Gratitude And One Big Favor

52:12 - Takeaways Plus Wild Pregnancy Stories

Transcript

Welcome Back And Big News

0:00

so I'm calling in my favor now, John Christiansen, um, you guys have to move closer. That's the deal. Um, that's how- Okay. I agree. That's, that's how you can repay me, all right? So put it on the list, figure it out, and find your perfect house. Hi, everybody. Welcome back. Welcome back, everyone, to another episode of Womb Service. Womb Service. We're happy to be back. Uh, sorry, we're probably a day late. Um, I had an insane week and weekend. Um, I'll, I'll update you on all that, but we have some really great news as well. Um, so I guess to share with everyone, Yaya? Yeah, we are pregnant, and I know we've said that a few times, but today we had our first ultrasound, and y'all, Haley's really pregnant. Like, really, really pregnant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So yeah, it was a really exciting day. Like, a lot of emotions. We're gonna go through all of that. Um, but

Wedding Weekend And IVF Shot Logistics

1:20

just to get this out of the way, um, we'll go ahead and just talk about, like, our weeks leading up to this. So, um, so yeah, why we're kind of recording at a weird time and a weird day, um, I had one of my friends get married. Um, congratulations Emma and Aaron. Your wedding was absolutely amazing. We had beautiful weather. She looked stunning. Oh, she did look stunning, and if you notice in the photos, like, the day, like, the day of her wedding, she got a gift from Aaron, and it was the most beautiful, like, pearl necklace and earrings, and oh my God, I swoon. Like, it was- It was so gorgeous. I ha- I feel like sentimental jewelry is so underrated nowadays. Yeah. I feel like people used to get jewelry, like, a lot, I feel like, and then people are like, "I don't want jewelry. Like, who wants jewelry?" Um, but I feel like it's very underrated. I just- I agree. Yeah, I just love it. I, I personally, like, have a very, like, smaller pearl necklace, um, with 18 pearls on it. I'd had one pearl every year from my aunt, um, like, as a birthday gift. It was, like, the coolest thing ever. That's so cool. I love it, and I love that necklace to this day. Um, but and places don't do that anymore. Like, the place that she used to get it is closed. Um, and now it's like you have to get it online, and like, ugh, I want or I really want to do something for like, like that for Gwen. I just don't know what I want to do yet. Yeah. So we'll see. But anyways, uh, congratulations you two. Beautiful day. Awesome, awesome time. Um, so I had that this weekend, and I was in the wedding, so we had a lot of stuff going on. Um, but besides- How did you manage doing your shots during the wedding? Was it just stepping away with Matt, or how did that go? Yeah, yeah. So, um, shot situation. Uh, for rehearsal dinner, we had time, like, in between rehearsal and then dinner, so we just did it out at the venue. Um, for the wedding day, we were both in the wedding, um, so we did the ceremony and then right, like, at the end of cocktail hour right before we were gonna, like, walk in to, like, go to the head table and all that for the reception, um, we had, like, five minutes to, like, run to the bathroom, do it- Oh my gosh and then, and then literally walk in for the wedding. Um, it d- time definitely got away from us that day, but luckily it was on time. We were all good, but Matt literally, like, blocked off the bathroom and, like, it was me and him in the men's bathroom. I love that. So I'm sure that was great for everybody. Um- S- yeah, so yeah, had a lot of interesting shot places.

Courtside WNBA Night And First Solo Shot

4:08

So yesterday, Sunday, um, I went to a WNBA game. It was so exciting. So cool. So exciting. So, um, we got courtside seats. It was me and my dad. We were, like, third row from the court, and, like, almost right behind the Indiana Fever bench. The coolest experience ever. If I could do courtside, like, every time, I would. Like, of course, that's, like, impossible unless I'm a billionaire. Um, but- But it was, it was amazing. Like, you got your own buffet. Like, you got your own bar, if I could drink. Um- Like, nice private bathrooms, and then where you walked in was the tunnel where the players run in and out. So that was the coolest thing ever. That's amazing. Yeah, so, like, all they had was, like, a little rope that divided your walk-in line from where they go to their locker rooms. So, um, it was really cool. So we got there early. Um, we were able to, like, get right at the front of those lines to, like, watch the players come by and try to get autographs, um, which we did. Um, we both did. Um, I got my, pretty much two of my favorite players', um, Kelsey Mitchell and Caitlin Clark's autographs on jerseys. And, uh, I talked to Aliyah Boston, and I listen to her podcast, and I told her, "I like your podcast" and she heard me. So that was cool. Um- But yeah, it was, it was just a really cool experience. A lot more than I expected to get from courtside sic- tickets. I just thought I was gonna go in, sit down, that was it. So, so yeah, um- It was a whole experience. It, it really was. And so s- shot situation on that one, um, I left between the first and second quarters. Um, I went and gave myself my first shot by myself. How was it? It actually went a lot better than I thought it was gonna go. Good. Um, I, I was definitely scared of, like, poking myself and, like, chickening out, so I literally was like, one, two, three, and, like, did it. Like, I didn't give myself any opportunities to, like, back out. Um, it really was awkward with the, like, angle, so I was just- Mm-hmm like shaking, pushing it in. But it wasn't, like, anything terrible. So it went well. It all went well. It was great. And did you do that in the bathroom or in the car? I went in the bathroom, yeah, yeah, 'cause going out to the car... Well, the car was actually valeted 'cause we literally stayed at the hotel straight across from Gamebridge. So that hotel that you were gonna, like, drop your stuff off, yeah, so that's where we stayed. So it was very convenient. Um, but yeah, no, I mean, bathroom was nice, and it wasn't crowded, so it was perfect. Amazing. That's so good. Yeah. Yeah. I, I think I either w- before going to sleep the night before or the morning of, of the, of the, of the day- Mm-hmm I knew you were going to be giving yourself your first shot, and I was like, "Just remember to just count and just-" Yep stick it in. Yeah. No, it was, it was great. I loved your little messages that you, you send every once in a while. It's very, it's very nice. Well, congratulations- Yeah on your first shot. Yeah, no, all, all was well. All was good. Um, we had a blast, and good to know, I did message, um, Gamebridge, like, ahead of time, and I was like, "Do you guys have, like... Like, what's policy?" So anyone else who's going to, like, events and, like, need to take medication with you, um, you just have to go through, like, a special line. They tag your bag. Um, you can bring in a slightly larger bag if you need to, but I didn't need to. Um, and then they do have first aid areas. So, um, I had the option of going to do that, but it was pretty far away from where we were sitting. Um, and anyways, I guess they have, like, medical personnel if, like, you need any assistance. They have private rooms, stuff like that. So those are options. Very cool. Yeah, yeah, wasn't it very nice of them? So how about you? Anything going on this weekend? What have you done? What's going on?

A Busy Weekend And A 3 AM Memorial

8:12

This weekend it was very busy for us. Um, we had the Sox game, the Sox and Cubs game yesterday, which was a lot, a lot of fun. There was a lot of driving, so it was driving to Chicago, we went to the game, we drove back, and then today driving to Indy, and then driving back. So Jonathan had so much overtime that he worked last week. I don't remember how many extra hours he worked last week, but he was working like a dog. So I felt bad because he worked all, you know, all last week, plus overtime, plus Saturday, and then he originally wasn't gonna take Sunday off. He was gonna work Sunday as well, which is his normal off day. And then he agreed to taking off to go to the game, which I was so excited for. But then I obviously just feel bad because all the driving is on him, and I can drive, guys. He just prefers I don't drive when we're both in the vehicle. And- Yes It's a Ch- it's a Christensen thing, I swear to God. It's gotta be. It's a Christensen guy thing because Matt obviously hates when I drive. I'm not a terrible driver. He'll tell you I am. I'm not. Um, he just has, likes to be in control, so that's totally fine. I will be the passenger persons. But yes- Yeah he is a driver all the time. Yeah, and on the way back today, 'cause he worked this morning before we went to Indy. Oh my God. So he woke up, w- worked, and then we went to Indy. And on the drive back home, meaning we're done for the day, he just... He does this thing when he ever, whenever he's driving, I know he's tired when he starts to, like, lean forward. Mm-hmm. And so he's leaning forward, and I'm like, "I can drive." And he's like, "Nope, we're good." And I just, I felt bad, but, um, as soon as we got home, he confirmed that he didn't have a softball game, and he knocked out and he started snoring. And I was just like, "Yes." I'm usually such a stickler about him falling asleep on the couch, but I was just like, "Nope, it, you stay right there. You're snoring. You're comfortable." And we've gotta be up today at 2:00 AM. We've got a memorial at 3:00 AM for, um, Chris Oberheim, which was an officer that was killed in the line of duty, and so it is his, um, uh, death anniversary, I guess is how you would say that. And so that is today at 3:00 AM. So he fell asleep, started snoring, and I'm like, "Yes, go to sleep. Stay asleep. I will let you sleep on the couch," and then hopefully he'll sleep through until we have to wake up to go. Gosh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that was tonight. That's- Yeah hard, hard times for everyone, especially his family. Yeah, 1000%. Yeah. 1000%. Okay. But yeah. Yeah. So a lot going on. Busy, busy. Yeah. Busy, busy. All the driving. All the driving. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um- Yes,

The First Ultrasound And Past Loss Fear

11:07

but good driving Today was a good day Yeah. Yeah, so today, appointment. Um- Mm-hmm yeah, we officially, um, I guess we could talk about the appointment, so how, how things went. Um, I think going into it, we were both very nervous. Um, I, I f- like- You put up... You have a great poker face. You're telling me you were nervous now? You did not act like you were nervous. I was- Okay, we're going to the casino after all of this, because what? Okay, I was gonna say, I, like, myself felt calm, collected, cool, confident. Like, I felt like everything was going right, like, everything was how it usually was, like, in my past few pregnancies. Like, I wasn't having any, any symptoms. I wasn't having any issues like bleeding, so I don't know. I just was like, "I... We're good," like, "We're good." I think I started to get nervous when we were in there- Mm-hmm and then he walked, and then he walked in, and I was like, I was like, "Okay." I'm like, like, just I think my mind, my mind went to all the things that could go wrong now. Mm-hmm. Um, and just knowing, like, it's so early, like, I've never gotten an ultrasound that early. Like, the earliest I've ever got was eight weeks, which is usual when you're just having, like, w- going to a regular OB. Um, so I think when they started the ultrasound and then, like, no one was saying anything, that's when I was just looking up at the ceiling, and they us- they have, like, these little, like, mobiles- Mm-hmm um, above, like, at all the tables. Um, and I was just, like, I was just thinking over and over, like, "Please, please, please, please, please." I was just like, "Say something." I was like, "Say something good. Say something that's, like, gonna confirm, like, what I'm feeling is right." So- Mm-hmm that was what was going through my head. How about you? Yeah. Same. Um, obviously I've, I've been nervous leading up to today. Um, we have never made it past this appointment, so we, we've always made it... Well, not always. We've made it to this appointment, um, but typically the bleeding either started the day before this appointment or the day after or the night after. So, like, the, like, this, what we would consider this weekend and, like, the next two to three days is typically when, like, all hell would break loose for us. And so I was pretty nervous about just this milestone and, and then the after, right? Like, I was really nervous about- You know, what if, what if there is a hematoma and, you know, what if something does happen? So, like, I think just going into this milestone because it's as far as I've ever gotten, it just is like, please let's just get there, but also please let's get past it, if that makes sense. And so I was pretty nervous leading up to it. And then like you, when the doctor came in and they started the ultrasound, there was a lot of silence, and typically that silence is not good. Mm-hmm. And I was staring at the monitor, and I was trying to look because I know what they're looking for, and I was also looking for it, and he wasn't saying anything. And at one point he almost moved the mon- like the ultrasound monitor towards him and away from us, and he- whenever he has done that for, uh, for me and Jonathan- Mm-hmm that means, "Let me just take a closer look because I'm about to give bad news." So he did that. He, like, slightly moved it towards him, and I just, I, I, I was not breathing after that. Like, I just, I just stood there and I was just like, "Okay, well we tried." And then he moved it back and he was like, "All right, there it is." And I'm like, "What the fuck?" You're like, "Girl." What the heck? Like- You're like- are you trying to give me a heart attack? Oh, so- It's, it is- Yeah it is like a million emotions in one second. Like, that's, like your mind is just going round and round and round of like what, what you've experienced in the past and then what you're hoping for, you know what I mean? Mm-hmm. So it's, it's a lot.

Subchorionic Hematomas Explained From Experience

15:35

Um, so I mean, I know you mentioned your, the hematomas. Um, so for anyone who doesn't know, um, what Yaya's talking about are subchorionic hematomas. So that's when there's a collection of blood that basically forms between your uterine wall, your, so your uterus on the inside, and then the embryo. Or between the chorion, which I looked up, that's just the outermost layer of that embryo. Um, or the sac now that- The sac there's, yeah, there's a sac now. So they d- really don't know why that happens, is what I'm kind of getting, and I feel like what you've talked about before. Um, do you wanna speak any more to those? Yeah. Um, so I was very prone to those. And like you said, there is no m- rhyme or reason. They are more common when you do do IVF, um, but there is no rhyme or reason. Women have, um, SCHs, which is the acronym, we love acronyms- um, when they have regular pregnancies as well. But for us it was, it was honestly the root of all of our losses is we always had an SCH, and then what my body would do is it would- expel that blood because it, you know, it essentially, I don't know, my body was trying to protect itself and knew that there was something that was wrong. So when my body was pushing that out, the blood clots would essentially also push the embryo sac out as well. So we've tried different things, blood thinners. We tried different shots. And I think, you know, at the end of the day, I just leave it to God. I don't necessarily know why it happened every single time. The doctor doesn't know because there are people who have SCHs and have successful pregnancies, whether it's light bed rest or regular life. There are women who have SCHs and they'll have bleeding throughout most of their pregnancy and they're perfectly fine. So I don't say all this to say if you have an SCH, you will be having a miscarriage. That is not true at all. Countless women have SCHs and have full-term pregnancies. That was just my experience. Whenever I did have one, you know, we would do light quote-unquote bed rest as much as we could. Obviously, I still had to go to work. So I would just keep my legs up and do stuff like that. But ultimately, my body was just doing what it thought it needed to do. And in doing so, we would also, you know, have our losses. But yeah, it's when he said when he was looking at your ultrasound when he was doing it and he's like, okay, I have no concerns whatsoever. And that was my first question. Any hematomas? And he said, no, no hematomas. And I was looking to your sac. The baby sac was like the only sac there. And typically what that looks like is you'll see the sac and then something that looks very similar to the sac, very like right above it or to the side. And so I was definitely looking when he was doing yours. And I obviously I'm not a doctor, so I just needed him to tell me. And yeah, yeah, that was I was able to breathe once he said everything was fine. And then I was able to breathe again once we Kind of heard the heartbeat, and then I was able to breathe once he said that there was no hematoma. Um, but then obviously, like, I'm in my head, like, "Oh my gosh," like, "What if they pushed a bunch and what if she does start to spot?" And, you know, you, you get in your head because that can happen, too, from a regular ultrasound, is you can spot from that. And so yeah, so I... Today, today was a big day. It was a big day for us, for sure. Yeah. A good day. No, huge, huge day. Yeah, yeah. So we f- we officially found out that per the ultrasound, um, there is, or the, um, baby is six weeks and two days, so that's what- Mm-hmm um, it's estimated. So that can change depending on growth and all that, but we knew we were some- somewhere around six weeks. So, so yeah. Um, at this point, what they're looking at, like, on these early ultrasounds, they're looking for that gestational sac, the yolk sac, um, the fetal pole, so, like, a little tadpole in there. Um, and then there should be some type of cardiac activity. So it is a very s- it is very small right now, so at this point the baby is only the size of, like, a lentil, they say, so very teeny. Um, so finding that spot and really pinpointing that so that they can hear the heartbeat is hard, difficult sometimes. Um, so that's what we kind of found today. He wasn't very worried. Um, when I looked it up for the heart, the, like, be able to, like, see a heartbeat on ultrasound, it's anywhere from late five weeks to mid six weeks. So we still have a little time. Um, and then the heart rate, I was curious about this, and I almost asked him what the rate should be around this point, um, 'cause when I was listening, it sounded, like, kind of slow. Um, and usually when I'm used to other ultrasounds later, your baby's heart rate is very fast. So, um, I just remember that because if they, like, if they, um, are listening to it or trying to find it and it's, like, more around your heart rate, so, like, the 90s to 120s,

Six Weeks Baby Milestones And Next Scan

21:28

it's obviously not the baby's heart rate 'cause theirs should be way higher than that. Um, so yeah, at least right now, theirs is supposed to be around 90 to 100, so around yours. So I was just interested in that. Yeah. Interesting little fun fact. Yeah. He, um, he definitely, he knows me because obviously I've been there for a long time, and he knows I have all the questions. So when he said, "We won't be able to measure it," but I, 'cause he, he was trying. They were definitely trying. Mm-hmm. He was like, "Can you tell we're dedicated?" He really was trying to find it, and when he realized that he wasn't gonna be able to measure it, he said it out loud. He's like- I'm not gonna be able to measure it, but it's good. And I know that he was saying it to me so that I wouldn't be like, "Well, is it? Should we be concerned? Should we be worried?" Yeah. Um, but yeah, I looked up, um, when- whenever I've been pregnant, I used this app. It's called What to Expect, and it's so cute because- Mm-hmm it tells you exactly where, you know, your pregnancy is the whole time. And so I downloaded it today- because we're pregnant, and I found some cute things about, the baby. Do you wanna hear? Mm-hmm. I would love to. Tell me, tell me. Okay. Perfect. So, um, how big is the baby at six weeks? Like Haley said, it is about the size of a lentil. Um, the baby's crown-to-rump measurement is anywhere from a fifth to a quarter of an inch and growing, making it the size of a nail head, a sweet pea, a lentil, et cetera. Currently, the baby's head is taking shape, so at this time, this is typically when women, if they are going to have symptoms, like pregnancy symptoms, this is typically when those start to kick in. Um, and let's see. So the folds of tissues in the prominent bump on top, which is the head, is developing the baby's jaw, cheeks, and chin, and then obviously, so the face. So the head and face are currently forming. And then little indentations on both sides of the head are not sweet dimples as one would hope. They're actually where the ears will go. So there's little indents that are forming, and that's where the ears. Um, and then small dots on the face will also start forming this week, and that is where the eyes, the nose, um, et cetera. And then also taking shape this week are the baby's kidneys, liver, and lungs, along with the little heart, hence the cardiac activity that we got to hear today. So while the heart is not quite developed just yet, there is that heartbeat, um, where it would be in place of. So yeah, so that is what to expect this week. Um, our, um, appointment right now is for six weeks, two days. We have our follow-up next Thursday, which would put us at about five days, which is almost eight weeks. Um, which that'll be really cool because- Mm-hmm that means there's a lot more that we'll be able to see at week eight. So that is- Yes very exciting. Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Very exciting. So- All the things that YaYa said, totally correct. So we're excited about that and about our little baby development. Mm-hmm. So especially in the first trimester, all the stuff is happening very quickly. Um, so I am hungry right now. I'm not surprised. Usually around this time I feel like I did get really hungry. Um, so I'll definitely be eating a lot more than usual. But, um, yeah, I know, I know a funny thing too is immediately after he said it, like, all was good, you were like, "What's next?" Mm-hmm. So we're like, "What are we doing next?" Um, and he's like, "All right, so another ultrasound," and, you know, just check that everything is good, and he's like, "One week or two week?" And- Yeah we're like, I was like, "Hey, whatever's," I'm like, "I'll go with whatever you wanna do," and you're like, "One week." He's like, "Good choice." He's like, "That's the right answer." Yeah, yeah. So, so yeah, I think just to be safe and make sure everything is developing and that we actually get the measured heart rate will definitely put everybody on a better, a better playing field, just to make sure that everything is normal, everything's going well, and that everyone's comfortable with where we're at. So- Yeah so yeah. When you say that you get hungrier during this time- Yeah is that, like, specific cravings? Is it sweet tooth? Like, what, what do you... Is it just like, "Man, I'm, I'm starving. I haven't eaten in years," even though you just ate, like, an hour ago? What's that like? I feel like I just eat a little stuff more often. I feel like later on in the pregnancy I did have, like, eat more sweet stuff. For some reason, I was a big cereal girl. Um, so that might- Mm might make a comeback. Now I want cereal. Damn it. All right. Well, maybe after this. Um, but let's move

Insurance Bills And What Coverage Missed

26:44

on. So, um, let's, let's go back to some of our fun stuff we were talking about last week, um, with insurance. Um, so giving an update here, and actually I didn't even talk to Yaya about this yet. Um, so insurance coverage stuff. We had two different sets of labs, um, that we talked about. So we got the beta HCG and then the progesterone and estradiol, um, twice, b- two days apart. I just got the bills back, and insurance paid a little under half for both. So, um, that looks like about $600 that wasn't covered, so we'll go ahead and get that on our tracker. Um, but I'm assuming it's more because number one, it might have been from an outside clinic, and then number two, I mean, both were the same amount of coverage, so it wasn't like we covered the first one but the second one was, like, too soon, so, like, we're not covering the second set of labs. I don't really have an explanation for why a lot of it wasn't, a lot more of it wasn't covered, so I- That is so interesting. Yeah. I would have to, I was actually gonna call and just see what the coding looked like and, and that. So maybe I'll do that and I'll get some answers for everybody. But, but yeah, so, so fun stuff, like we talked about. That's awesome. Insurance is so fun. Um, otherwise, uh, I will update you on the ultrasounds. We'll see how that works. I don't know. Oh, yeah. Um- Well, I think the ultrasounds, um, at the clinic are covered in that, um, contract. I'd have to pull it up. Here we go. All right, so this covers.. Monitoring appointments, office visits, ultrasounds, and blood estrogen measurements, embryo thawing, embryo transfer preparation, embryo transfer, and the initial pregnancy test. Hmm. So yeah, so your ultrasound is covered in this, in this arrangement. Perfect. Perfect, perfect. So yeah, the blood work stuff was probably just 'cause it was outside of the clinic, which makes sense. So I mean, I wasn't gonna drive all the way to Indy for, for the blood test, so is what it is. No. I would still call though just to, just to see. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Mine were I, my co-pay was just Have you not hit your deductible maybe? Oh yeah, no way. I mean, I usually don't- Yeah, that's probably it I usually don't though. It's weird. It's weird. I feel like a lot of my, 'cause I don't go to the doctor a lot, so like- Yeah I, I feel like all of my prenatal stuff in the past was very minimal, so like I would just pay co-pays. Yeah. Um, it wasn't necessarily like I had a lot of extra stuff to add to my deductible until, like, I paid stuff for the actual, like, delivery. So- Right so I don't know. It's just definitely a different situation, so. Yeah. So yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, well, I'm not telling Jonathan that until tomorrow afternoon after he's well-rested. He already knows. He does? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, s- he texted me, um, today when he was driving up, and he, um, I don't know if he saw my Snap or whatever when I was at that acai bowl place or whatever. Um, but he was like, "Do you," you know, like, "Do we owe you anything for today?" Like, you know, just I guess- Yeah like, stuff that I was doing. And I was like, "No," I'm like, "I'm already up here, and, you know, I'm really not doing anything. I'm not driving," so, um, I was like, "No, you don't owe me anything." And then I sent him a text, and it said, "But the labs from last week were covered." I said were. I, it meant to say weren't. And then he texted back and said, "Oh, well, that's good news at least." And then I looked at it, and I was like, "Oh, no." I literally texted him back. Oh, no. I texted right back and I said, "Oh, Lord." I said, "I'm sorry. That meant to say weren't." I'm like, "I'm the worst." I'm like, "Sorry to let you down." Oh, my goodness. No, he hasn't e- he didn't even mention it to me. He, I, it's probably one of those things where he's like, the same way I said, "We'll talk about it tomorrow instead of today." Exactly. Exactly. He's like, "Oh, it's, did you already pay for it, or you wanna do it on the credit card?" And I was like, "I'll probably just do the credit card if that's fine with you," so I need to do that. Yeah. But, but yeah. So besides the point. That was just a funny side note. Anyways- Um, so other things, um, I looked up that clinics are basically going to check you on, um, from now until, like, your next few appointments.

Monitoring Plan And When Hormones Stop

31:21

They're just checking that fetal growth, so making sure that everything's looking good on your ultrasounds, that the heartbeat is looking good, and that you have a good progression. Um, also making sure, and I don't know how they're gonna do this either, on, like, checking my hormone levels for the progesterone and estradiol if they're worried about that at all up until, like, from now until we get to, like, eight, 10 weeks. Um, because what I looked up, uh, depending on your doctor and depending on your situation, they might start to... They might stop your, um, hormones somewhere between eight and 10 weeks. So 10 weeks is when they will release you usually from their clinic to go to your own OB. Um, but some people did say that somewhere between the eight and 10 weeks, um, you could s- stop everything at the eight weeks. You could... They might ask you to go all the way to 10 weeks. We will just see, so I'll be interested to see how that goes and what they look at as far as labs, and if they even will have me draw any labs. So we'll see on that. Yeah, I'd be interested to see that, too. Yeah. Especially because we know that your body, um, does produce progesterone. Mm-hmm. And so, yeah, it's very likely that somewhere between eight to 10. It's exciting when you think about it. We are going into, like I said, our next ultrasound seven, almost eight, and then, I mean, after that it's just a few weeks before we graduate, hopefully, from the clinic. Mm-hmm. So that's- I know gonna be... That's, that's, like, right around the corner. Crazy transition time. I mean, like, just, just I feel like everything's going to, like, almost happen very fast. Mm-hmm. Um, yeah, I did... I, I did see, like, in, in my research, um, so, like, a lot of emotional feelings that, like, IVF, you know, parents have is when, you know, when they're told that they can stop the hormones, and they're just, like, have so much anxiety about it because- Yeah they've been relying on all of that to make sure that- 1000% yeah, to make sure that baby is doing okay and, like, developing and just, like, making that transition to, like, trust your body to take over. So that's, that's big. It is big. Yeah. Yeah, it's huge. Have you already found or set up or know who your OBGYN will be? Um, so I plan on just contacting the birth center again. I did, um, probably almost about, like, three or four months ago now, um, just to, like, heads up, like, "Yeah, I'm gonna get pregnant again. I'm gonna be a surrogate." Like, I... So anyways, that was mostly just for, like, to check insurance coverage stuff. Um, so I'll probably contact them maybe after next week's appointment when we get around the eight-week mark. Um, but they basically work as, work as a team. So they have a, I think somewhere around, like, four to six midwives, and they all just rotate, like, through your appointments, so, um, just to make sure you're meeting each one of them because when you come in to give birth, it's not o- it's not scheduled. Like, they, they do not do scheduled anything. Um, no inductions. They obviously do not do C-sections there. Um, so it's all whenever you go into labor. Um, so whoever's on call that night is your midwife. You don't get to pick and choose your midwife. Um, so that's kind of the unique situation with them, um, but they're all very nice and amazing, so I'm very excited for that again. Um, so yeah, I'll just call them, be like, "Hey," "I'm reaching that point where I'm ready to, like, start out my prenatal care with you guys," and they'll just start getting me in for appointments. So that'll be interesting for us. Yeah. Obviously, I am... I definitely want you there for as many appointments as you want. Um, I can give you more of a heads up as, like, what each one will be, just because, you know, some are literally, like, in and out, five minutes. Like- Yeah they don't do much. They just check, like, fetal heart rate. Um- Yeah so yeah. At least it's in Bloomington, so it'll be, like, a middle ground for both of us- Yeah I was thinking about that, um, on the drive home because now, I, I was telling my friend Emily where it's like I feel like I can be hopeful now. Like, not that I wasn't hopeful. Let me reword that because I don't want anyone to think the wrong thing. I think after today's appointment, because it's such a big milestone- Mm-hmm and I saw that there was nothing concerning in the ultrasound, it allowed me to allow myself- Mm to think about the future. Yeah. So, you know, I, I'm so good about stopping my thoughts about getting delusional or, you know, too hopeful about things. Mm-hmm. And today I allowed myself to think, "Okay, at what point will we do the nursery? Okay, at what point will we do this?" Or, um, one of the thoughts was, "Okay, when she does graduate and she has regular ultrasounds, what will be the dynamic then?" Because like you said, there's gonna be appointments where I don't necessarily need to be there, but it's more so, "Hey, here's the update," you know? Mm-hmm. Um, so I started thinking about all those things, and obviously once we get to the, those spots is when we'll talk about those things and decide.

Midwife Birth Center Care And Future Planning

37:04

Mm-hmm. I don't need to plan ahead one day at a time. Yeah, yeah, one day at a time. But, um, but yeah, I started thinking about that stuff, too, and it was the first- Mm-hmm time that I've allowed myself in this, in this transfer to, to- Mm-hmm think about those things. Like, okay, when, when can we start planning for the nursery? And- Mm-hmm you know, I was on Pinterest and, you know, looking up, like, surrogate, you know- Ooh announcements and things like that. And so, yeah, today was, today was a, a good day for, for my heart. Yeah. If that makes sense. That's good. I mean, it's, it's hard to do when, when we're thinking about everything that's happened, so it, I am happy that you've gotten the time to really just be in your feels and just, like, sit in the happiness 'cause I feel like we all- Mm-hmm need to do that. Um- So yeah, a lot of, a lot of things in the future, a lot of things we are going to talk about. Um, but yeah, we already talked about when I will possibly graduate from them, so we'll keep you updated on that. Um, as far as activity restrictions, we're just going along with the status quo right now, so I'm still just doing light walking, playing with the kids, that kind of stuff. So nothing, nothing crazy. Honestly, I can't even think about running because my- like, let's talk about shots. Like, my hips hurt so bad, like, all the time now. Like, it's, it's not even, like, it's just like an ache, and when I, for some reason, like, I don't know, like, jog to make sure, like... Not jog. Take a few steps so, like, if she... Like, Gwen's falling off her bike the other day, and, like, I did, like, a jump to, like, make sure she was fine. You just, like, feel it. Yeah. You just, like, feel the soreness, and I'm like, "I- there's no way." Like, absolutely no way. So, um, I feel like that's my, my, um, my restriction all on its own. Um, I also have, like, some weird, like, kind... I wouldn't even say kind of. It's sometimes, like, kind of numb on the side of my right hip, so I'm hoping that kind of goes away, like, as- when I stop shots. It will. Yeah, so that's, that's kind of a weird thing I got going on. Um, so yeah. I mean, shots, shots are fine. I feel like getting the shot anymore is, like, no big deal. I... It's not a big deal. It's more of just, like, the continual, like, ache that you kind of just feel back there. Mm-hmm. So I, I actually wanted- I actually looked up a percentage of, like, just from Google, and I don't even know where they get this, like, how accurate it is, but I was like, "What percentage of IVF, like, moms make it through the shots?" Like, the 10-week shots or whatever, like, 'cause I know I have a friend who... You know, some people get reactions, and then they have to do- Yeah the, the, um, the suppository version of the progesterone, so- or, like, switch to that. And, um, I think it only said, like, 50 to 60, maybe less, make it through the 10 weeks on the shots. Oh, wow. And they have to, like, switch over, so I was like, "Oof." Oh, but, but shots are the easiest way to make sure that I am getting the correct amount of progesterone, so we are continuing. I just actually, eh, I just actually made it 30 days on my shots, which seems- Amazing which seems like so much longer. How? How did that- How has it been 30 days? Yeah, so we started b- basically the week before transfer, and that was the 16th of- Yeah April, so, so yeah, four weeks. And, and maybe just a few more weeks to go. Maybe. So yeah, we'll see how that all goes and how we progress on that. Um, but yeah, as far as activity, I could probably do nothing more than what I'm doing now. Mm-hmm. So we'll see. Yeah, we'll see how that changes after our shots. I'm excited for that. I do have someone I, um, like a coach I work out with at the gym, and she's been pregnant a bunch of times and worked out through her pregnancy. So hopefully I'll be able to, like, work with her and, like, figure out what, what works for my body. So- Yeah I'd like to at least do some light, you know, like, lifting and, you know, go from there. I don't think I'll actually- Yeah be able to get back into cardio very much, but we'll see on that. Yeah. We will see. Walks.

Communication Rhythms And Reassurance Rituals

41:39

Yeah, walks are always good. Um, so yeah, for, for future appointment-wise, things that you might wanna talk to your intended parent about, um, since things will probably be getting less and less frequent as far as appointments, because right now we've been so used to just, like, every week, every two weeks, that kind of thing. Mm-hmm. Um, so definitely talking with your intended parent and figuring out that communication schedule is very important. Um, obviously with us, we have this weekly little thing we got going on, so that's nice. Um, and obviously we text pretty much every other day. Um- Yeah so I think we keep each other pretty up to date. I always hope you text me whenever you want, even if it's, like, been five minutes. That's fine. Um- I would rather you be content with knowing than sitting and not knowing, because I know that feeling- Yeah and that's absolutely terrifying. So- Yeah so you- I was actually gonna say that since we've had this appointment, um, maybe we don't have to do a pregnancy test every two days. Maybe we also graduate, and we do, like, well, your appointment's next Thursday, so- Mm-hmm maybe just, like, next Monday, and then we have the Monday to Monday to compare it to. Sure. Hey, you can text me, uh, like, you know, anytime and be like, "Hey, I really want you to take a pregnancy test." I'll be like, "All right." No big deal. The- I'll still have a couple on hand for you, no big deal. Um- That's so funny I know. I feel the, just having the, um, reassurance is nice, so. Yeah. I, I know, I know you're maybe looking, like, into my perspective and like, "All right, she's had two kids. She, like, knows what she's doing," like blah, blah, blah, but all of this is still your experience, and it still matters how you two are feeling and what you guys need. Because if it was you, and you were in this situation, and if you wanted to do something, you could do it. So- Mm-hmm I understand that barrier. Like, obviously, you feel something, you wanna do it, you can't do it to me. So- I would rather you just ask me or tell me, and I will, I will do it. Like, I am very, I want to do everything you want to do, as long as it's not crazy. Um- Yeah. Yeah. But, but really, though, I just, like, I'm pregnant, but it is your pregnancy, so. I love you. I love you so much. So anything, babe. Anything, anything. We got it from here. Um- I am- Yeah truly thankful and just blessed, and I just, I know that you don't like hearing it, but you really are very selfless, and you, I don't know, today that's, I texted you after our appointment, and I just said, "Today meant so much to me," because it really did. Like, not only was it a big milestone for us, but it's just a constant reminder that someone loves us enough to do this for us, and yeah. I just, I don't know how I'll ever repay you for even, you know, the thought and the commitment to do this for us. It's, it's a lot, and we're only, you know, six weeks, two days. Um, but, you know, your body's gonna be changing, and you're gonna be going through symptoms, and you've got a lot going on with the kids and work, and there's just so much that you're putting on your plate to do this for us. And I know I say thank you, but I don't, I don't think you'll ever truly know just how thankful I am and how every day I put it into perspective, and it's not something that I'm just out of sight, out of mind. When it comes to this and knowing, you know, that you're doing this for me, I think about that every day, and every day I'm so thankful and blessed. And yeah, I'm just very thankful. Here for you always, babe. Love you. I know. Love you, too. Um, so I'm calling in my favor now, John Christiansen, um, you guys have to move closer. That's the deal. Um, that's how- Okay. I agree. That's, that's how you can repay me, all right? So put it on the list, figure it out, and find your perfect house. listen- Preferably before the baby's born. I'd really like to consider moving up closer to Matt and Haley because just being closer to family, and my, my mom is an hour away from where you're at, so it would be- Mm-hmm an easier drive to them." And so- I have been sending him some houses that are in the area. He looked at them yesterday, gave me some feedback. He's obviously, he's, he's the logical person. We've got about,

Gratitude And One Big Favor

46:39

I think, four to five years before this house is paid off. Mm-hmm. So he's thinking, "We've got low interest. We're about to pay this house off. Like, why would we consider that?" But for me, it's why would we not be closer to family? Why would we not want the kids to grow up, like, with their cousins? And so that's where my head's at. So I've been sending him some houses. Um, so yeah, Jonathan Christensen, you heard. Yeah. The, the way to repay her back is if we move in closer. So- Yes. Yes I'm doing my, I'm doing my part. Aw. I know. I'm, I'm gonna be selfish on that one, 'cause I, I obviously know you guys have so many, so many close friends, and obviously your jobs are there, and that's, it's a lot. It's a lot to consider. But, hey, I'll throw it in there, and maybe it'll happen eventually. If, if not, if not in the next year, then maybe eventually we will, we will all be able to- Yeah to grow, grow old together. So- Mm-hmm so yeah. All right. Anything else we wanna talk about? Obviously, you know- Yeah a big, a big day, big milestone. Um, I think we're all kind of feeling a little relief, and I know- Mm-hmm you asked me, or just like, "How are you doing?" Like, you know, like, "How are you feeling?" I was like, "I just... Relief. Honestly, relief." Mm-hmm. So, uh, yeah, we will just, I guess, move on to our next milestone, which is our second ultrasound next week. Um, and go from there, and just see what, what He has in store for us after that. But, but yeah, I guess if anything for a tip or takeaway from me from this episode and this time is to, just, I guess, know that, know that there are some, some happy points in all of this. Like, I know a lot of it is very depressing sometimes, and just very, like, keeps you down, but just, again, find the happiness in the little things Yeah. Yeah. I would say my takeaway is to, to allow yourself to be happy. Mm-hmm. And not be scared to be happy, because yeah, then you miss out on those joyful moments. Mm-hmm. Um, one of the questions for you, Haley- Yes is what is the craziest pregnancy story that you have? Okay, I got two different things. So one of the weird things that happened to me, and I, I might get this wrong, um, uh, when I was pregnant with Grayson, I started getting really itchy, like late in pregnancy. It was probably maybe around, like, the 30-week mark. Um, I ended up getting something that's called chole- it's not cholelithiasis, so it has something to do with your gallbladder. So common thing when people get pregnant is for some reason you start having issues with your gallbladder, and I forgot the exact reason why, but either, like, there's some type of blockage or something, and there's a buildup of something else in your body. Um, but basically it causes you to be itchy, and it causes you to s- specifically be itchy- Mm-hmm on your hands or your feet. Me, it was palms of my hands, weirdest thing ever, and then my belly. Oh, my God, it was, like, the most uncontrollable urge to itch I've ever had. So I remember, I think I, like, looked it up, and then they said something about your gallbladder. I was like, great, like, I'm gonna have to get my gallbladder out. And actually, one of our close friends, who's, like, around 30 weeks, had to go, um, and have surgery pregnant and get her gallbladder removed because she kept- Oh, my gosh it was insane. That would probably be, like, the scariest thing ever, and I'm so happy, like, everything went well and she's all good. But- That would be terrifying. Um, but anyway, so my issue, they just took a lab when I said that, and they're like, "Oh, it's probably this." It was really high. They ga- they put me on some type of medication, which of course can't remember the name of. Um, sorry everybody. Um, but anyways, that did help a little bit. Otherwise, I just had to like continually put lotion on me. So that was fun. That was a lot of fun. I remember that. Yeah. I remember you were texting Andy and I, and you were talking about- Mm-hmm how your hand was so itchy. It was so weird, like the palms of your hands, like- So odd. So odd. Um, the other little funny tidbit that I was gonna say was on Gwen, when I was pregnant with Gwen, I wasn't quite sure if I was going into labor at that point, um, 'cause it's really weird. Like now I remember what it's like, but it is really just like, starts out like period cramp feeling. I know a lot of people describe it as like a band around your belly, but I really don't... That's not like my first description. It really is just like period cramp feeling at first, and you're like, "Oh, is that, is that really there?" Like, "What's going on?" Like, and then of course they're not very close together at first, so you're just like, "Am I imagining things?" Um, so I remember with Gwen, we were planning to go drop the kids off at my mom's. It was a Tuesday. Um, she watches them on Tuesdays usually. And

Takeaways Plus Wild Pregnancy Stories

52:12

I was off that day for some crazy reason. Um, and I remember like being at home and just like kind of starting to feel that, and I was like, "Hmm." I was like, "I wonder." And like I didn't say anything to Matt, like didn't say anything to anybody. And, uh, I was secretly like texting my doula, Lauren. And I was like, "I don't know if this is happening right now or not." Um, and then she's like, "Call me." And we got to my mom's, and like we're dropping them off, and like I was on the phone with her, and Matt was like, "What are you doing?" And I was like, he was hearing me talk to her, and he's like, "Are you serious?" He's like, "You didn't say anything?" Like he's probably like, "What the hell?" Like, "Come on." Yeah. Um, so yeah. I was just like, "Yeah, I think we're having this baby today." So yeah. That's so funny. Yeah. And we stayed home for a while and then drove to Bloomington and had the baby a couple hours later, so. Well, now- Anyway I've got a follow-up question for you. Yes. Um, water break. Um, both of mine were while I was laboring, so- Oh, okay there was no like, there was no like crazy, "Oh my God, I peed myself, and I'm standing in- Yeah. I'm standing in a Walmart." Um, no. No, that, nothing crazy movie like happened. Um, it was like, with Grayson it was, they let me, um, like lay in the tub that they have for a while. They don't let you give birth in the tub there at the hospital. Um- But to help your contractions move along, sometimes they can allow you to do that. So as soon as I stood up from that, that was when they were pretty sure my water broke. I really didn't feel it that time. Mm. Um, and then with Gwen, I... They do let you labor and then give birth in the tub there. Um, but I remember I was changing positions in the tub, and then I was like, it was just like a really, like, weird feeling of, like, pressure and then being gone. Mm-hmm. Um, so they're like, "Oh, yay, your water broke." And I was like, "Oh, that's what it is," like. Um, so yeah, no, no crazy stuff there. But, but yeah, mine, mine is pretty late, I feel like, in my, in my labor usually, so. That's cool. Yeah. All right. So. Well, those are my... That, that was my follow-up to that question. Okay. Um, I will probably make another post this week too. I've only got two more questions in there, so I'll probably make another post this week for more questions. Perfect. So if you're a listener and you have questions for us, any questions, please feel free to post. We did have some questions, um, about legal, but we did cover that. Have we done a legal episode? No, we just did insurance, and we still have to do- Insurance legal and contracts. So yeah, we can do that, we can do that next week. You think? Yeah, that's perfect. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, we'll do that next week. So we'll answer some of those, um, questions related to that stuff. We will talk about all the fun things that are in our contract, and then how we, how we, uh, got all our eternity stuff together, and go from there. But otherwise- Yep we should... Well, I guess next episode we won't really have an update for you guys, but- Mm-mm we will talk about all the things like usual, and, um, go from there. So keep following. Mm-hmm. We really appreciate everybody. Um, thank you for listening, and this was our Womb Service love you.