Episode 3 - Lucky Socks & Sticky Vibes Only

Recorded: April 18th, 2026

Surrogacy can sound like a neat plan on paper, then transfer week arrives and suddenly we’re living by alarms, protocols, and a whole lot of feelings. We’re Yaya and Haley, and we’re talking about the unglamorous reality of a medicated frozen embryo transfer, starting with the milestone nobody forgets: the first progesterone in oil shot. Yes, the “booty shot.” Even with medical know-how in the room, the anxiety is real, and the internet can either help or completely derail your peace. 

We break down what’s actually happening behind the scenes of IVF and surrogacy: lining checks, hormone labs, TSH thyroid levels, and why progesterone is delivered in oil for intramuscular injections. Then we share the practical stuff we wish everyone told you upfront, like how to make nightly PIO shots more tolerable with heating pads, warming the syringe, massage, movement, and a routine strict enough to keep you from sliding into chaos. 

Transfer week also comes with “empty space,” so we talk honestly about fertility superstitions and IVF traditions: Brazil nuts, pineapple core, warm socks, avoiding certain teas, and the legendary post-transfer fries. We also get into boundaries as we share our story more publicly, including the questions that sting, the comments that don’t help, and what supportive people can say instead. 

If you’re walking through infertility, IVF, or supporting someone who is, listen along and share this with the person who needs it. Subscribe, leave a review, and tell us what transfer week ritual or shot tip you swear by.

0:00 - Surrogacy Setup And Humor

1:10 - First Progesterone Shot Anxiety

7:32 - Clinic Check Results And Hope

9:02 - Why Progesterone Comes In Oil

14:29 - Nightly Shot Survival Tools

21:21 - Transfer Week Superstitions Explained

29:01 - Exercise Rules And Bed Rest Myth

36:17 - Going Public And Setting Boundaries

42:19 - What To Say And Not Say

47:29 - Rapid Fire Stories And Googling

49:30 -Takeaways And Closing

@fromivftosurrogacy on IG

Transcript

Surrogacy Setup And Humor

0:01

Hi, I'm Yaya. And I'm Haley. And this is Womb Service. So let's talk about the world's craziest group project. Surrogacy. welcome back to Womb Service. Uh, this is where we cope with infertility the only way we know how, which is of course through humor- Humor sarcasm. And of course, a concerning number of Google searches at 2:00 AM, 4:00 AM, 5:00 AM, and 7:00 PM before we start recording. You know, I'm never up that late, but I can, I can totally agree. It's, it's the late night, the late night Google searches for me. Yes. But hey, uh, let's start out.

First Progesterone Shot Anxiety

1:10

How, how are we feeling? How are you feeling this week? How am I feeling? Yes. How are you feeling? Yeah. Haley had her first, uh, progesterone shot yesterday. Yeah. Her first booty shot is what I call it. How are you feeling? Uh, you know, I think I really got myself super worked up about it- Yeah and I didn't think I was gonna be like that. Um, I was like, "It's no big deal. I'm a nurse. I can I give people shots all the time or whatever. Like, I can, I can take it. Like, no big deal." I, I don't know. I really, I really was super anxious, and- Yeah I don't know. Um, I'm good. I'm good. Uh, I definitely feel like I kind of got myself into, like, a I was digging myself a hole down the, like, TikTok search, and like- Oh my gosh it's like, I need to stop. Like- Welcome to it. Oh, no. I- You're in the thick of it now. Ooh, yeah. I had to stop that real quick 'cause I was like, "Okay, some of this is not helpful." Um, but some of it was, so, so I'm happy about that, and we'll talk about, um, some tips that we both have for, for the shots. But, but no, feeling good. Not as sore as I started to feel last night, so. Good. Yeah. Um, it's so funny, 'cause I messaged Haley, and I'm like, "I'm coming up for your first day of shots." And we live about an hour and a half away from each other. Mm-hmm. And she's like Her response was, "You know I'm a nurse, right?" I was like, "Yeah, I know that." But still, like, your first sh- your first shots, I mean, like you said, right? Yeah. You work yourself up. You're trying to figure out, what is this gonna feel like? Mm-hmm. Is this gonna hurt? Where should I do it? Because it has to be in a particular location. And then if someone else is giving you the shot and they're not used to giving shots- Mm-hmm there's a level of anxiety too. Yeah. So I know Jonathan and I, we used to joke all the time about how, like, they put all this, like... They give you the power to give yourself injections, and we have no background- Yeah as like anything to do with medications or nurse practices whatsoever. Mm-hmm. So, like, it, it is. It's, it's, it's overwhelming. And Matt was here yesterday when we were- Mm-hmm doing your shots, and he was so attentive. It was, it was so cute. He was like, "So how deep did you go with this shot?" And, um- Yeah, that was funny. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So. Yeah, no, for me, I mean, um, I mean, yeah, when they, you know, when they send you the shots and all the stuff, like you get it from the pharmacy, um, like they send you little, like, e-learnings, right? Right. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So, so, you know, it tells you exactly how to give the shot, but it is, it is a lot when, like- Yeah you haven't done it before. Um- Yeah. And yeah, you're just expected to, like, do it- Do it correctly. Right. Yeah. And if you don't, like, this is a lot on the line, so. I, I Googled that. I was like, um, what happens if I don't give this deep enough? You know, like in- Yeah intramuscular, like intramuscularly or whatever. Right. This is what, what I was searching yesterday. It was like, "It's fine. Like, it might not be absorbed, you know, as fast or like- Right all the way." And I was like, "Oh, okay, well, I guess there's that." But still, I mean, you wanna do it, right? Right. Exactly. So, yeah. No, absolutely. Okay, so you're feeling better? Yeah. Good. Good, good, good. Yeah, yeah. We'll definitely talk about those TikTok videos because- Yeah um, I actually- Things were wild. Yeah, yeah. I, I remember that specifically. I remember I had to, like, delete TikTok from my phone for certain transfers because it was just a lot. But... It can be a lot. I mean, I feel like you just get down that rabbit hole of, you know, everyone's trying to tell you what to do, you know, and you don't... You wanna take the right advice, which hopefully the right advice is from your doctor. Right. You know, not TikTok. Um, but of course, you don't wanna be messaging them five, 24/7 either, so that's, that's another thing. Yeah, and I feel like they give you very vague instructions all the time. Mm-hmm. They're just like, even after your transfer, you're go- you're g- they're going to give you instructions, and it's very much just like, "Okay, go live your life." And it's... Yeah. Meanwhile, everything on Google is, like, rigorous. Yes. Um, but- Yes I'm feeling good. I am excited. I, um, I think last... Well, your appointment was Wednesday? Yes. Wednesday. Wednesday. Once, Wednesday, once we got confirmation... Or Thursday, we got confirmation Thursday. Yes. We got confirmation on Thursday that we are good to go for our transfer on the 23rd, and I think that was, is officially when I was able to just, "Oh, wow, it's happening." And obviously, you know, like, like we've said, we started this process in July, and- We've had a lot of appointments, and for the most part we knew we were good to go Mm-hmm green light. We- this was happening. But it's not until that final yes, it's ha- Yeah like, like everything's cleared for a week from now, you can start shots, that was when it finally hit me where I'm like, "Oh my gosh, this is actually gonna happen." Yeah. On Wednesday night, I volunteer at church with the kids, and I text John afterwards because it was just... I just felt like the hope that I used to feel, um, I was, like, around all the kids and- Mm-hmm they were doing their verses, and they were super excited. And in that, in that moment that night with them, I felt that, "Oh my gosh, I can't wait to be a mom," you know? And I, I haven't allowed myself to have that feeling in a really long time, and so it just... Yeah. This, this has been a good week. I just, I feel hope again. Yeah. I mean, I think... I can't remember what the exact quote or f- what it was, but I'll have to... I'll just try to find it, but it was, it was like hope can be just so depressing almost. Yeah. Because, like, if, if you keep hoping and then things keep not, you know, keep falling through like that, it's really hard to stay hopeful. Yeah. 1000%. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I mean, thankfully I have a really supportive husband that reminds me to lean on God a lot, so that has been really helpful. Mm-hmm. But, I mean, it's just hard to... It's hard to believe that the storm is gonna end someday when you're stuck in it. So- Yeah but yeah, this week has been really good. Yeah. Um, and last few days I just... Yeah, I, I, I get into my little delulu land where I'm like, "Okay, the guest room. We're gonna have to start, you know, thinking about moving things." Yeah. A nursery. Um, and again, I haven't, I haven't thought about that since- Yeah this time last year. Right. We'll get there. Yeah. We'll get there. We'll get there. Um, but yeah, so we mentioned my last appointment was- Mm-hmm

Clinic Check Results And Hope

7:32

Wednesday. Yes. Um, so I went back to Indiana. Um, they did the same tests and same blood work that I had the week before. So, um, they did that ultrasound, checking my uterine lining, which was good. It increased... I'm trying to look at the... Oh, I don't have the number up. I think it was, like, a seven. I think it was seven. Yeah, yeah. So that was better from, I think, three- Think three is what it was. Yeah, yeah. Um, and they want that to be thicker, so it's better for employment, implantation. Yeah. Um, and then they did some blood tests. Um, they did the estrogen level again, which was good. Um, and then also the progesterone just to make sure it was pretty much at the same level, um, which it was as well. Uh, the last test that we were kinda waiting on an extra day was that TSH- Mm which was the thyroid hormone level, um, which we talked about last week as well. Um, but that did decrease, which means the medication I'm taking is making it better, so. Perfect. Yeah. Yeah. Did they give you that result, what it was? Yeah. I would have to find it. No, you're good. But, um- Definitely could talk about that offline. Yeah, yeah, no, but it was within, um, the limit. Oh, I think it was, like, a three or something, and they wanted it- Under under, like, 4.5. Yeah. I was at, like, a 4.5 or something, so- Awesome super good. So, um, they did increase my medication on that just to make sure I still had a steady decrease, but that was kind of the only change in the oral medications. But we can talk about the shots.

Why Progesterone Comes In Oil

9:02

Yeah. Let's talk about the shots. Oh, yeah. So, so yeah, there's basically, um, what I looked up, 'cause I was doing some research, research too. Um, and I know somebody else going through surrogacy actually, not on a personal level, but more of a, "Hey," um... It was, like, through my doula, um, connection, and she was like, "Hey, there's somebody else, like, who you could talk to," and I was like, "Awesome. Perfect." Um, but she's doing natural cycle, which natural cycle, um, frozen embryo transfer is something that basically is a little less timed by medication, so it's, it very fully relies on the surrogate having, like, a very regular, um, cycle and not taking any progesterone and just relying on the body's own progesterone and all that. But we're doing the medicated version, so, um, between success rates, it looks pretty much about the same from what they can tell. Um, but medication use, we're doing the, um, PIO shots, which is progesterone in oil. Um, so looking that up, why they put it in oil, I was super wondering why. Yeah, there's different ways that you can take progesterone too. Yeah. There's suppository. Mm-hmm. There's progesterone in oil, and there's oral as well. Mm. Um, and everyone has their preferences. Doctors have their preferences. Um, patients have their preferences. Yeah. I had a friend who when she did IVF, she only did suppository. Um, I tried suppository. It's really messy. Um, and it's harder for them to test it as well. Yes, so that's what I saw is that that way of getting it is not as reliable when they go to do the blood work. So- Right of course, they're gonna wanna get, like, the most accurate level so that they can track everything and make sure- Mm-hmm it's a good time to get that implan- implementation. Um, implantation. I'm really struggling with that. It's okay. I'm really struggling with that word today. Okay. Um, but yeah, so they put the progesterone in oil when you're doing the shot so that it disperses kinda evenly and absorbs better in your muscle. Mm. Didn't know. Um, so that does make it a little thicker- Yeah of an injection, so that's a first for me. Um, but- Which I'll ask you- Yeah just because I haven't in a long time. So she had... So Hailey, you did your trigger shot- Mm-hmm which is the Ovidrel. Yeah. And that one is on the belly. Mm-hmm. And you did that one Thursday night? Yes And then Friday night we started the progesterone in oil- Yes which is on the back side. That's oil. Ovidrel is not. Mm. Did they feel different in terms of, like, pain levels? Um, I think the Ovidrel, which the Ovidrel is the one whose It's called the trigger shot. Yeah. So it's gonna start your body getting ready to get pregnant basically. Yeah. Um, so it's telling your body, "Hey, now's the time," um, since we're doing the medicated version and not the natural version. Um- Did it hurt more- But no or either? The Ovi- the Ovidrel, no, it was a very small amount too. Mm. So I feel like that helped, and it was also sub-Q. Yeah. So teeny needle. It's like a TB size needle for any medical people out there, and yeah, it's right in the front here. Very small for anyone who's not a medical person. Yeah. Very thin and small. Exactly. So- So no, um, I think that one was just fine. Um, no issues. The, the progesterone is, like, a 22 gauge, um, which is not a- It's a big girl. Yeah. Like, it's not a huge needle. Like, if you're thinking of an IV, a 22 is very small for, like, an IV. Like, usually when you go to the hospital you get, like- Yeah a 20 or, like, an 18 if you have big, nice veins. Yeah. Um, and so the gauge size goes down the bigger the needle size is, so that kind of screws with you too. Oh. Yeah. Got it. 'Cause when you're like, "It's not as big as an IV. An IV is 18," I'm like- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So- 22's bigger, but I, I hear what you're saying. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. Okay. In medical it switches. It's really whoever came up with that, crazy. Um, so yeah, I mean, 22 is not huge, but still, like, it has to go intramuscularly. Mm-hmm. So it's not like it's right under the skin. Um- And I would say, like, getting it in when you know that it has to go into the muscle, it just feels funny pushing that deep. Mm-hmm. So. That's what, that's what Matt said. So I was talking Matt through the shot and, like, how he's supposed to give it 'cause future days, meaning tonight- Yeah um, he will be giving me my first shot. So I think he was like, "It's supposed to go that far in?" I was like, "Yep." Yeah. He's like, "Am I gonna hit bone?" I'm like, I'm like, "Matt- Yeah you've seen me." Yeah. I'm not a, I'm not a twig here, all right? So you're not gonna hit my bone. Um- That's so funny but yeah, I think he also got a little nervous, and I, I actually got mad at him last night a little bit 'cause I was like, "You need to be strong." I'm like- Yeah "You can't be breaking down with me." Yeah, yeah. He's like, "I'm allowed to be nervous." Allowed to be nervous. And I said, "No, you're not." Oh, man. I John has given me so many shots. Um, I've never asked him, but I wonder if it was just, like, enjoyable for him to, like- Well, to bring on that, that guest Yeah that guest someday, yes. Yeah. Oh. We'll have, we'll have to see if he's available. Yeah, for comment. Okay. Um, so let's, let's switch to... I can't. I can't. Okay. For reference, he's sitting on the couch. But we told him not to say anything. Okay.

Nightly Shot Survival Tools

14:29

So tips for survival. Yeah. So if any- for anyone who doesn't know, um, I will be taking these shots every night- Mm-hmm at 6:00 PM. On the dot. It's supposed to be on the dot. They said within an hour of the 6:00 PM, so I have a little wiggle room. Little wiggle room, for sure, for sure. She's like, she's like, "No." She's like, "No, at literally 6:00 PM." Um- Wait, I can explain. I can explain. No, not done yet. 6:00 PM for... Okay, like I said, every night for 10 weeks. So whoever wants to do the math out there, that's a lot of shots. That's a lot of shots. That's a lot of shots. Um, but yeah, uh, how are we surviving that? Okay. All right. So first I'll explain why I was really strict on sitting on the dot for myself. Okay. Because once you start giving yourself a little wiggle room, you start giving yourself a lot of wiggle room. Mm. And then it just keeps pushing it, and then you start getting too close to that deadline. So it's supposed to be 6:00 to 10- 6:00 to 7:00 PM- Mm-hmm is like your range. Um, and that's very specific because it's timed with what your body should be doing. And at the time of your transfer, you want to have a certain level of progesterone. Mm-hmm. Um, so one thing that would happen to us as we started getting a little lax was it was like 6:58, and we're like struggling, like getting everything ready, and I'm like freaking out. So after a while I got really strict and I was like, "6:00 PM on the dot." Yeah. Um, and that transfer that I was supposed to be really strict on, I got home at like 6:45, so that was great. Um- Yeah so yeah, so that's why for the most part- Yeah I would say, you know, it's, it's important to just be strict with it because then you don't start to alter your life and then you realize like- Mm oh, shoot, it's almost 7:00. Yeah. Um- No, I mean, that's, that's what they say though is- Yeah you have to make sure that you're, you know, you're paying attention because your body does need to keep up a certain- Yes amount of progesterone to support that- Exactly that embryo. So yeah, 100%. Yeah. So how do you survive it? One, having an alarm. Having an alarm on your phone- Mm with time of shot. Um, we had one that was like, uh, I think it was like- Maybe 10 minutes before shot time Mm-hmm so just enough time for us to like, "Oh, snap." Especially when you're social and you're out with friends or you're at a friend's house for dinner- Mm um, it's just enough time to go, "Oh, snap, we have to step away for this," because, again, you're gonna start to lose track of time because you're- Yeah doing it for so long. Right. Um, it's not just a couple times. Another thing, um, that you're gonna need to survive would be a heating pad, which I got here yesterday, and she was on the couch with her heating pad. Um, because it, it basically just, um, relaxes that muscle for you so that when you are putting in that oil, that oil will disperse even better- Mm-hmm because it's nice and warm in there. Yeah. Um, massage gun, I learned that tip, I think one of my last transfers, I learned that from someone on Instagram. But what ends up happening is the more you're putting progesterone into the same area, it's gonna start to get thick and hard, and after a while, it's gonna get even harder to inject that area. So you really wanna massage it, not just right after you inject yourself- Mm but just throughout, um, the night, um, you know, when you're relaxing on the couch or anything like that. You just wanna massage that area. Again, disperse it, not have it get too thick. Mm-hmm. Um, and even though you're gonna be changing spots from one side to the other, um, that circle, even though it feels pretty big right now, it starts to feel really small after a while- Mm-hmm when your skin starts to get really thick. Yeah. Um, I know there were a few times where Jonathan would, like, inject, and he's like, "Ooh, that one felt rough." Yeah. Like, "That one was hard to get in there." Um- And I'd be like, "How do you think I feel?" Yeah. So I would definitely say, you know, massaging it right after- Mm-hmm massaging it just in general, um, the heating pad. Yeah. And then honestly, um, there's other tips for others that have, that I've seen, like there's, um, an injection shooter kinda thing- Mm where you just, like- Mm-hmm put it right on your skin, and it just sh- does it for you, like, real quick. Um, I never used it just because I don't trust mechanics on how deep that injection's gonna go. Yeah. And like she said, it's, it's not huge, but it's, it's thick enough. Yeah. Um, and I think just honestly just, like, giving yourself grace is gonna be a big one just because- Yeah your body will start to hurt back there. Mm-hmm. And just, like, I don't know, just knowing that, um, you can, you can go around a little bit. You can go to the other side. Um- But yeah, I would say those are survival tips that I would give on, you know, doing the injections for sure. Having a good mirror and a good angle- Mm-hmm that is gonna be important when you're giving yourself your shots. Mm-hmm. Um- Yeah, I was like, "Oh, did you..." 'Cause I didn't... I was, I was asking her last night, I was like, "Have you given yourself your own shots before?" And I was like, "I don't know if I could do it," but then, like- I get it then again, then again, I've, I've done it before. Yeah. You know what I mean? And you know what it is? I don't think it's hard to do it, like, in terms of, like, the heebie-jeebies. Mm-hmm. I think it's more so hard in terms of, like, the angle. Angle. And, like, making sure that, like, you're holding the needle at the right angle- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm and that, like, side, like, or at an angle. Yeah, yeah. Um, so that was probably, like, the hardest part for us because the mirror that I used was elevated. So yeah. Good job. Yeah, so that would, I would say that was, like, the harder part of it, but, um- All right, like epic status over here. What- Make it like an Olympic sport. It's an Olympic sport. But once you do a few, you feel more confident, for sure. Gotcha. Yeah, yeah. So I think the only things, and of course, you, no one take my word for it because I've been doing it for exactly one night. Um, we can talk about it in later weeks, but yeah, the heating pad I heard was a good option. Mm-hmm. Um, also warming the injection syringe underneath your arm after you pull it up. Yes, or in your bra. Yeah. In between the boobs. So that that oil kind of gets to your body temperature, that way it's easier to inject and then it will kind of, um, absorb more evenly. Um, but yeah, they say once that oil kind of starts to, like, cool almost, like, after injection, it can give you, like, harder lumps, which is why making sure that you're doing, like, light stretching or, like, walking afterwards helps. Mm-hmm. Um, as well as the massage. Um, and then I also looked, I actually Googled, like, probably, like, a half hour after I took the shot last night if I could do the heating pad after, and there, and, like, multiple things were like, "Yes, you can heat before and after." I was like, "Awesome." I'm doing that. Good. And that helps a lot, um, 'cause I was starting to get a little worried. It was like the half hour mark and I'm like, "Oh my God, it feels like I literally just ran, like, five miles." Did it actually? Yeah. So, so yeah, I'm glad I did the heating pad. It was great. Um, definitely helped me feel better this morning. Good. So. Good. So yeah. Good, good. 10 weeks of it, hopefully. Mm-hmm. Exactly. We'll get there, we'll get there. Um, okay. Yeah, so besides shots, old news, right? We'll, we'll get back to that eventually.

Transfer Week Superstitions Explained

21:21

Um, but let's, let's move on to transfer stuff. Yeah. So, so I know there's a lot out there, um, but let's, let's talk about superstitions for transfer week, 'cause there's a lot out there, um, as far as, like, what you should be doing, how you should be prepping your body, because all the doctor gives you is, "Hey, keep taking your medications. This is when you should be, you know, this is where you should be doing your shots." I mean, that's it. And they're like, "Hey, just come for transfer. Let's go." Yeah. So, so I think there's a lot of empty space that- So much empty space that we fill, fill with this, um, kind of recommendation stuff that people have found. Yeah, and I think one thing to note is, you know, pretty early on in this episode we were talking about the Google searches- Mm-hmm and the TikTok, and the Reddit, um, and Instagram. And that is so common for anyone going through anything, because you're just looking for answers. Is this normal? Um, on a day-to-day basis, on a normal day-to-day basis, your body is going through so many different, like, feelings, and, like, your stomach's, you know, making noises, and whatever. Cringes and stuff like that. You don't notice any of that until you're in a process, and you're, like, supposed to be more conscious of your body. Mm-hmm. And all of a sudden you're like, "Is that normal?" Yeah. What is that? Um, so the Googling becomes so relevant- Yeah during this time, both before your transfer, like transfer week prep, um, your two-week wait, and then after your test, right? Whether positive or negative. Mm-hmm. There's so many... There's so much Googling. So some of those old wives' tales and tips and tricks, um, that I followed, and I'll explain, like, what they were for. So, um, your lining. So you go in- Mm-hmm and they tell you what your lining is. And you, for your transfer, you want your lining to be s- um, I think they call it triple layered, and somewhere around, like, 9, 10-ish. Um, and that's, like, the nice thick lining, and that's gonna make it so that your embryo goes in, gets cozy, and get, can implant. So the thicker the lining, the better. So there's things that people will do to get thicker linings. So the Brazil nut, um, that one is huge. You just eat one a day, and that has, um, a lot of, um, psyllium, and that helps with thickening your lining. Which I actually enjoyed, surprise or not. Um- It's great, right? Yeah, yeah. I think I would definitely love them with salt. Um- Yeah 'Cause of course she got me, like, the healthiest version- of Brazil nut ever. Um, but no, they're really good. Yeah. I was like, "Okay." I'm like- Yeah "I don't have to force myself to eat those." Yeah. I'm like, "Still be a good snack." They're pretty good. Yeah, yeah. And of course it's one of those, like, one, one a day is enough. Like, you don't wanna overdo it- Mm-hmm either because you don't wanna- I'm gonna have a few tonight but they're so good. Yeah. They're so good. Like, Jonathan eats those as a snack, and he'll, like, eat, like, three to five, and I'm just like, "Whoa, that's a lot." If you were a girl, you would have a thick lining, my gosh. Iack. Um, so there's the Brazil nuts. Excuse me. Mm-hmm. There's palm juice, so pomegranate juice. Yeah. That one's huge as well as a tip to make your lining thicker. It's also a blood thinner. So I asked Haley in, in advance before ordering anything. I'm like, "Hey, just to be sure, is a- baby aspirin in your protocol?" Mm-hmm. She said yes, so we did not put, um, any pomegranate in our superstition s- transfer week prep. Mm-hmm. Um, but, um, typically your pomegranate and your Brazil noz- Brazil nuts, for those, like, you'll do them up until your pregnancy test, and then from there you stop. So then you go into, like, more of, like, just eat as if you were pregnant. Mm-hmm. Um, the pineapple core, so pineapple core, same effect, where it's gonna help thicken up that nice juicy lining. So it is a superstition, um, to eat the core, um, the night before your transfer, and then for just a couple days after, just until you finish the core. So that one routine- Yeah every single transfer, Jonathan would bring in the pineapple, cut it up, and then we'd eat that at nighttime and then for the next few days. Um, then we've got, excuse me, um, after transfer. So- Mm-hmm um, after transfer, w- of course, right, we talked about prep. You wanna make sure your lining is nice and thick. That's really all you can do for transfer, aside from, like, eating healthy, staying hydrated. Yeah. Um, of course, if, if you wanna add a tradition, you can eat something the night before transfer that you're not gonna be able to enjoy, like sushi or something. Sushi. Um, but after transfer, it's really, the superstitions come really into play, and, like, how do you get circulation down there, right? Mm-hmm. You want blood flow, blood circulation to help with that implantation, but you also wanna keep it nice and cozy and warm in there for the embryo. So- Those superstitions come in where it's like making sure you've got nice warm socks on all the time, not walking around barefoot, um, not drinking like cold drinks, so like your iced matchas, your, you know, your, your cold water with ice. You wanna l- like limit that. Mm-hmm. And if not eliminate entirely during that two-week phase because you wanna make it nice and cozy in there. So, um, you know, drinking warm water or chicken broth or there's even like a list of teas that you don't wanna drink. Mm-hmm. So that gets really stressful. I'm like, "Okay, I wanna drink tea 'cause it's warm." Mm-hmm. But you can't have X, Y, and Z type of tea because it's- Yeah it can cause miscarriage. There's a lot, all the herbal... Yeah, there's a lot of herbs out there that can really like actually make a difference in your body- Yeah which you really t- in, you know, in different ways. But, um, but yeah, those are just, you know, something you gotta work out and- Yeah make sure you're looking at too, which is stressful. It's so stressful. Yeah. I know. So- I remember the raspberry tea, which- Yeah actually in, it's supposed to increase- Induce yeah, increase contractions, uterine contractions. So I remember I drank that a lot when I was like 40 weeks and trying to get- Yeah my two kids out. Yeah. So yeah, definitely not an option this time around. Yeah. So I did a lot of like I would just like start my day with like a, a warm cup of water, put some honey in it. It's not tasty, but- Mm you know, it was just enough to like feel like I was doing something- Mm-hmm to keep it warm. And then during, um, that time you also wanna walk. Mm-hmm. Um, to build that circulation. And then, um, I'm Mexican, so there's different wives' tales that my, um, friend's mom insisted that I do. So, um, one of them was putting like a safety pin on my underwear, and that's supposed to like protect your womb from like evil eye almost. Really? Yeah. So, um, his mom made sure that I did, I think the first two transfers I did it, and then after that, after the losses, I'm like, "I'm not doing this stupid safety pin thing." And then there's like the red string, uh, bracelet, which is the same concept, protection from just bad eye, things like that. Did it the first two, and then again, miscarriages, and I'm like, "Forget that red string." Um, and then what's another wives' tale that I did? Oh, and then I slept on my left side a lot. Mm. Because that's supposed to help with circulation. Mm. So your sleeping habits- don't matter when you're doing your transfer. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But, you know, it was anything and everything that I could do. Um... Yeah. Yeah. And then, yeah, your, your, your, your, um, your heart rate- Mm-hmm They don't want it to be above a certain Like, you shouldn't feel out of breath ever- Mm-hmm like you're exercising, so. Yeah. Um, yeah.

Exercise Rules And Bed Rest Myth

29:01

So yeah, fun- Yeah funny, I actually, I actually messaged the, uh, clinic 'cause I was like, all right, I'm like, I know there's a lot of stuff out there. I'm like, just tell me. I'm like, pre-transfer, what are my restrictions, like for, for exercise? Like, what do I need to look out for? What do I need not do? And then I said post-transfer, and I'm like, for how long kind of thing, whatever. Um, 'cause I mean, if anyone who doesn't know me, I work out, like at least three to four days a week- Yeah in the morning, and like, that's just routine. It's just what I do. Um, but yeah, when I talked to them they were like, "Okay, well pre-transfer, you know, you can pretty much do whatever, just not like- Yeah really high impact, you know, like stuff." Um, and then they said, "Especially after post-transfer, you know, especially that transfer day- Yeah they definitely want you to, you know, relax, try and just like have a very like slow day. You can't go to work. Um, and then, you know, the day after you can pretty much go back to your regular work life. Yeah. But, um, they definitely said, you know, the only exercise you should be doing is if you can have, like hold up a conver- a regular conversation without being out of breath. So I was like, okay, sounds good. So that's gonna be a huge adjustment for me. Huge adjustment. But, but I'm glad. Like, I just need to know like the And I know we talked about this too. Yeah. So I'm like, I just need to know the, not the black and whites- Yeah 'cause of course there's so many gray, gray areas in this. Mm-hmm, yeah. But at least I have more of a, a guidance. I was like, awesome. I'm like, I know what I can do. I know what I can't do. Like Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, let's do some yoga. I'm like, let's do some stretching, just like- Yeah kind of like relax. Yeah, like the biggest thing is just like how to not contract, right? Yeah, yeah. You don't wanna have any contractions. Yeah, yeah. You don't want to like, um Obviously, I, I saw an analogy and I think that the analogy's great. Mm-hmm. So the lack of exercise isn't because you might, like the embryo might fall out of the implantation- Mm-hmm or won't implant. That's not it at all. Um, if you were to put a chia seed in jelly, that is literally what it's like when they put y- the embryo inside of you. Mm-hmm. So the exercise isn't like, oh, it'll move too much. Yeah, it's not a jet stream. Like so it's not gonna do that. Yeah. Um, but it's more so that contractions, like you don't want your body to contract. You don't want, um, your body to overexert itself- Mm-hmm because it's trying to really, you want, you want it to fully focus on something- Yeah that your body is essentially seeing as like a parasite. Your body is You're, you're putting something into your body. Mm-hmm. And with medications, and your body's like, "Hold on. We don't want this," right? Because it's not naturally happening. Yeah. And so you want your body to be able to fully focus on that than trying to recover from a workout per se. Yeah. Um, now, do pregnant women work out? Yeah. I go to the gym every day, and there's literally women that are- pregnant, and I'm like, "Go you." Um- Yeah, I think it's different And when you- After, like- Yeah, and, like, when you were pregnant after everything's, like, good and, like, we have, we have that, that take. You know what I mean? Yeah, for sure. Like, once we're past, like, that very, like, you know, the 12, you know, somewhere around there, like- Yeah that's, you know, w- she's like 10 human- Your body has been in, in control at that point. Yeah, yeah. The body knows, like, okay, like, we're keeping this. You know what I mean? Um, so yeah, I think, I think that's just an adjustment, but hey. And it's an adjustment. You know, some things we do. It is a crazy adjustment because- Yeah I, I, not for nothing, I've always lived a pretty active life. Mm-hmm. And then during transfers and during IVF in general, it limited my running, it limited my working out. Um, and I gained a lot of weight during IVF. Mm. Because it was like I was so limited, only f- only the- Yeah the spurts between, um, a miscarriage- The transfers and a transfer was, like, my time to run, and I'd be like, "I'm gonna go downstairs and run." Yeah, but which is already, like, you know, you're, there's always so much going on inside your head. Yeah. Like, and then you're like, "Okay, whoa, I gotta focus on, like, exercising in this-" Yeah "like, small amount of time I have," which- Yeah I feel like that's not what people talk about. Like- No, yeah you know what I mean? It's, we talk about all these other things sometimes, but, like, the things that you're supposed to just be more careful on is I feel like people, what people don't talk about. But- Yeah hey, we can focus on the healthy diet in the meantime. Yeah. And that will hopefully help me. Yes, for sure. Um, but yeah. Yeah. I think the last superstitions that I would comment on- Yeah um, are the fries. Oh, yeah. Um, so day of transfer and day of retrieval, fries are, you know, part of the IVF traditions. Mm-hmm. And the way that that started off is after you have an egg retrieval, you want to intake salt. Right. So what's really salty? McDonald's fries. So most women, um, were recommended by their clinic as a quick, like, "Hey, you know, on your way home, just go pick up some McDonald fries." And so that became a retrieval tradition. And then through time, that became a post-transfer tradition too. Mm. So just an IVF, you leave a big appointment, um, and you, you eat your fries, and they're the lucky fries. Um, so- Mm-hmm so yeah, last transfer I think we had a bunch of friends and family who ate fries with us, and that was really sweet as well. Yeah. Yeah, I remember us, Matt came home with some fries and- Yeah took a picture and sent it to you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So we were there, there in spirit. Yes. Um, but yeah, I think above all else, like, what I've, you know, when I've talked to, you know, the other, my other surrogate friend, "friend" in quotes, um, I think just, like, the main thing is they always, like- Especially that transfer day, do what makes you happy. Yes. Like, you know what I mean? Don't You know, like watch something funny. Yeah. Watch something heart- you know, like, that makes your heart happy. Like, definitely relax. Like, take, take a day off because And especially in those first few weeks, they want you to just do things that are try to relax you. Mm-hmm. 'Cause, you know, like we said, we don't wanna induce any type of, like, uterine contracting, which your uterus does on and off. Yeah. Like- Yeah. You know what I mean? Exactly. But so, you know, I mean, yeah, just try and keep it light, keep it- Yeah, and I think one misconception that has, um, gone a long way has been, um, s- laying in bed. Mm-hmm. So- Mm-hmm um, back in the day, you were advised to basically do bed rest during your two-week wait. Ugh. And yeah. And I mean, there was That was suggested to me by my own aunt, who did IVF as well. Like, "Make sure you're laying down," and especially after, like, my, my losses, they- Mm-hmm like, my mom was so strict, "Make sure you're laying down." But it's actually advised against, because you want that circulation. So you wanna go on walks, but yeah, ultimately to just relax, but bed rest is actually scientifically now proven as a disadvantage during your two-week wait. Mm-hmm. So. Yeah. Most definitely. All right. Well, there's a lot of them out there, and I'm sure there's stuff we have not even touched on. Oh, yeah. Um- For sure. Yeah, but, but like I said, all recommendations, and we'll, we'll go from there, and we'll see what, what happens, what works. But, but yeah. Yeah, this is, um Sorry, my watch was like- "Good job for-" Good job for sitting here "sitting." Um, weird. Um, but this is, uh, like we've said, transfer week, and this is actually- Mm-hmm also the week that our podcast will be going live.

Going Public And Setting Boundaries

36:17

So if you're listening to this, you either, um, just found out that we are doing this- and that it's transfer week, and you're binge listening to the three episodes, or you're listening to this far into the future, and, um, you're just, you know, here for the ride. Um, either way, we are going live with this podcast and our story- Mm-hmm to all of our friends and family this week. Mm-hmm. So this is- Sharing week going to be Yeah, this is going to be a very, um, shareful week, and I'm sure we're gonna be receiving a lot of text messages, phone calls, and questions from friends and family. Mm-hmm. So let's talk about that, and, you know, um- Yes your boundaries and, and how you're feeling about all of that. I, I've been very open- Yeah with all of my IVF, um- Yes s- since we started IVF. Mm-hmm. So, um, I'm a little more comfortable with the public eye on us. Right. And again, that public eye is really just our friends and family, um, or my friends and family. This is now introducing your friends and family- Yeah, yeah, yeah to this. Yeah. So yeah, how are you feeling? Um, I think good. So and actually, like, this past week, I've- told, like, my, my bosses. Well, my second bo- so I have a lot of bosses. Okay. I have a lot of bosses. You're like, "I told my bosses." I'm like, "Wow, tell them." Um, my bosses' bosses' bosses. Okay, if you're watching this, um, which I'm sure you will be. Um, so I told, like, the second half of my bosses, um, just for, like, scheduling purposes and things I shouldn't be doing, whatever, whatever, whatever. Um, and I think it was, it was good. I felt, I felt good about, you know, telling them what was going on, and I think honestly the, you know, the thing that I've gotten from almost everyone when I've told them is, like, like, like, I don't know, they just went about it like, "Oh, you're so, you're so selfless," and I'm like- Yeah I don't know. It just makes me uncomfortable. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. It does. I'm like, I'm- I see that. It's like at the end of the day, like, I talked about why I'm doing this. Like, I- I'm doing this because you, you guys deserve to be parents. If anyone does, you do. Like, so if there's anything that I can do to make that happen, then I will. So, and I have the capability, so that's, that's why I'm here. That's I love you. I love you, too, and that is selfless. So I don't know. So I feel like I'm gonna get a lot of those comments, um, in one way or another, however you word that. Um, which of course, like, I don't know what else they're supposed to say. Right. Yeah. Besides a, "That's weird." Yeah. I'm waiting for that. Um- Yeah but I don't, I don't know. So I'm, I'm good. I'm good. I'm just, I'm excited to get it out there so I'm not feeling so, like, secretive about stuff. Right. Yeah. Um- How do you think your family will feel? I know you've told mom, I know you've told dad. Yeah. I'm sure maybe your siblings as well. Yeah. But how do you feel like the rest of your family I know you come from a Catholic family, and- Mm-hmm um, is that, like Do you think it's gonna be weird for them? No, not really. I feel like they're all very- I also come from a Catholic family- They're very open. Yeah but my Catholic family is, like, mostly church, like, on Christmas and Easter, so that's why I ask that. Yeah. No, totally. I feel like, I feel like everyone would be really open to it and really excited, 'cause I feel like when we, you know, we do have family, you know, holidays and things, like, those who know you guys- Yeah I mean, they ask, so, you know, they're always, they're always curious. They always wanna know where you guys are at, what were you doing. So I, I think they'll be excited. That's good. Yeah. And I don't, I don't anticipate any negative commentary from that, from that. So- Good so yeah. So no, I think it'll be good. Um, do you anticipate any, any stuff going, you know, back live on your It's been a while- Yeah I feel like, since you've gone back live on your Instagram. Yeah. I haven't posted on the Instagram since our, um, I think our post to request- Mm-hmm um, if anyone would be interested in being a surrogate for us. Maybe I posted something after that- Mm was just kind of like a life update on- Yeah everything that was going on with us. I think that was last July. So, um, I'm not necessarily nervous about- Introducing our story- Mm-hmm to our friends and family. I think, um, I think the only thing that I am nervous about is just, like, um, the questions of, like, why did you not try again? And I don't think anyone would ask. Mm. But I've also been asked and told a lot of things that maybe I shouldn't have been asked by people. And you never thought And I never thought that people would say certain things. So I think, like, that question might at first be hard for me to answer even though I've answered it so many times. Mm-hmm. Like, my body is not going to be able to ever sustain a pregnancy. Mm-hmm. Um, from what we know now. Mm. Obviously, I, I serve a miraculous God, so tomorrow I can get pregnant, and God can decide this is gonna be a full-term pregnancy. So, um, but in terms of, like, our IVF journey, that is why we're here. And so- Mm-hmm I think that might be a question that, like, I would probably be uncomfortable with people asking me. Mm-hmm. 'Cause, like, what do you mean? You've seen everything we've gone through. Yeah. Yeah. Have you been following? Yeah. Have- Because- you been following? Um, but no, I think, I think my biggest, um, worries were all of our parents. I think, you know, your parents, John's parents, my parents. I think that was my, like, the biggest thing that I was worried about, was what are they going to think, um, are they going to be open to this. Um, because again, a lot of, like, the medical stuff with IVF- Mm-hmm is just question marks. You don't know anything about it until you're in the process. Yeah. So, you know, the question of, like, what we answered last episode of, you know, is, is the embryo gonna share DNA with Haley, like, all of those things. Um, I think that's what I was really worried about, was, like, people not understanding how it works. Yeah. Um, and then assuming that they knew more than what the truth is. Yeah. Yeah. No, definitely.

What To Say And Not Say

42:19

So if there was, if there was anything that you could tell the public not to tell someone who's going through this process, what would you do? From my side? Yeah. From my side, I think the comments that I would say would not be helpful would probably be, um, that question, that first question I mentioned. Yeah. Like, so not why did you give up, but, um, why didn't you try one more time? Yeah. I think that would be a really bad question to ask someone. Um, I think also, like, saying things like, "Oh, I know someone that could have done this too for you." Mm. So, like, like, "Oh, I have, you know, I have a coworker who would have done this for you if you would've asked. If r- if only I knew." Like, at this point, those comments are not necessary. We're in this process. Yeah. We are lucky to be in this process. Um- It's like don't insert yourself into- Yeah into that decision-making. I feel like- Correct I, I, you know, from, from the other standpoint, I could see where the, you might feel like the offer might have been helpful, but it's, you know, you already put out that, you know, that avenue for- Yeah for those to, to come forward. You know what I mean? Yeah. And we already talked about all that goes into deciding a surrogate. Yeah. Which is a lot. There's a lot of trust. There's a lot of care that needs to be, you know? There's a lot of regulations and requirements, even from the person. Right. Like, how to qualify. Yeah. So, so I guess on the flip side of that, what... I don't know. What's, what are things that, you know, people should be asking, should be saying? Like, and I know sometimes that's hard. Like, it's hard to know what the right thing to say is. For sure. But I think coming at it from a certain way- Yeah. I think- is helpful. I think obviously this is our first time doing this, so I don't know- Right. Yeah, yeah um, what could be said. But I think just in general- In general side, yeah. Yeah what are things that, like, you can say is just, you know, "I'm praying for you," if you pray. Mm-hmm. Don't just say that. Yeah. But if, you know, if you pray, like, "I'm praying for you. I'm praying for, for your family and for this journey." Mm-hmm. Um, prayer warriors, like, if, if you, if you are one, like, that's always well-received. Mm-hmm. Um, I think a second one would be, you know, like, if there's anything that, like, um, you know, obviously it's, you don't know what to ask the people. But if, if you know someone, you're like, "If there's anything I can do to help support," you know, saying that. The people, yeah. "If there's anything I can do to help support you." Mm-hmm. Um, because typically when I'm asked that I would always say, "Pray for us." Yeah. And so by asking someone, "What can I do to help support you?" That opens that line of communication. Someone might say, "I just really need a girls' night. Like, let's just watch some movies." Mm-hmm. "And that'll be enough for me." Um, but when you say, "What can I do to support you?" You're, you're, you're being selfless in that sense. Mm-hmm. In your, in your, um, need to be there for them, right? Yeah. Because you're, you're, you're asking because you wanna be there for someone. So truly ask them how. "How can I be there for you?" Yeah. Um, that would probably be the most, um, the best advice that I could give someone. Yeah. Is if you wanna be there for someone, ask them how can you show up for them. Mm-hmm. Because everyone's needs are different. Yeah. No, I mean, I think I'd feel the same. I mean, you know, I think it's, I think it's different, um, you know, and I'm sure you felt this way when you were, you know, going through the actual medication, shots, you know, that type of stuff. But I think, you know, saying, you know, "How, how could I support you?" You know, "How-" You know, and I, when I'm talking about family, like, you know, they're very, they're very helpful, you know, especially with, you know, the kids and going through this process as well. So it's just like, you know, "Can I take them, take them off your hands for a couple minutes?" Mm-hmm. Or like, you know, I think that's the only worry I have is, you know, being able to fully relax when I need to sometimes. Yeah. So at least I know, you know, I can reach out in those, in those points when I need it most. But I think that's, that's gonna be the dynamic that I'm gonna have to kind of balance. Mm-hmm. But yeah, no, I think those are all great, great things. What are some things that if someone said to you, you would be like, "Please keep your comments to yourself"? Um, you know what? I, I think, you know, if anyone... I, I really hope no one would ever say it to me, but you know, like, "Oh, like, aren't, aren't you worried, you know, that, you know, it's not, you know, it's not gonna work?" And it's like- Oh, yeah of course. It can- Like, of course. Like- Also, why would you ever say that? Like, of course, I'm worried about that. Mm-hmm. I think that's all we think about. Yeah. But it's like, you know, you try not to. You know, you have to be as positive as you can. But yeah, I think there's no, there's no space for that. Yeah. Like, I don't need e- a- Mm-hmm anyone else's worries. Like, if you do have them, which thank you for worrying. Right. But like, you know, like Yaya said, like, think, think about, think about us, pray for us. Those things are really important, but just try to keep those to yourself. 'Cause of course I'm- Yeah of course I'm worried. Like Yeah. I'm doing nothing but worrying about- Yeah what I should be doing. So, so yeah. Um, no. I mean, I just thank you all. You had great, great points. Yeah. But, but okay, let's, let's try to pick it up. Yeah.

Rapid Fire Stories And Googling

47:29

Let's pick it up. We got- Let's pick it up. Get all those things out of the way here. Um, but yeah, let's talk about some rapid fire questions. Yeah. Let's do this. All right, these are some rapid fire questions, transfer week, um, episode for Yaya here. So all right, what's the most chaotic transfer week story that you have or moment? Most chaotic transfer week moment? Mm-hmm. Hmm, hmm. If you don't have anything, you can pass. Pass. I don't have anything chaotic. I think transfer weeks, Jonathan was always, like, so mindful of making sure that, like- Mm everything was taken care of at the house. Mm-hmm. He, he, he would, like, not let me do anything. Mm-hmm. Um, so I don't have anything chaotic. He ma- always made sure that my transfer weeks were blissful. Okay. All right, something you swore you'd never do but did it anyways. Was there anything or- Yeah. Doing my shots in a freaking car Oh, okay. Well, that leads into, uh, the most ridiculous situation or place you had to do your shots. My In the car, in the car. It's so uncomfortable- um, because it's a butt shot, so you're literally unbuttoning your pants- in a vehicle. Oh, my God. Whether it's in the front or the back. Yeah. People are walking by. Typically, you're in the car because you're somewhere public. So, like- That's weird we'd be at a restaurant, and then it's like, "Shot time." Here we are. I'm unbuttoning my pants, and he's, like, poking something into my butt. It's like someone's showing up- And it's so undignified in the car over here. I feel like a drug addict. It's so uncomfortable. That's probably the worst. Ugh. Oh, my God. Okay. Um, and then the most ridiculous thing that you ever Googled. Oh, my goodness. Everything. Um, probably, like, I felt a twinge on my bottom left, uh, abdomen. Yeah. Is that normal? And it's, like, stupid stuff like that. I think that- Oh, no like, I was Googling dumb, dumb, dumb stuff like that my entire- I mean, but it's- my entire time it's the wait. It's the wait that drives you crazy. Yes. Yeah. And we will definitely talk about that two-week wait- Yeah. Yeah which is coming up next week. The two-week wait- Yes is the worst. Yes. Yes. All right.

Takeaways And Closing

49:30

Okay, takeaways. Takeaways. Yeah. Um, welcome to our journey. Yeah. If you are listening to this on transfer week and you're one of our friends or family who has been kind of, like, waiting to figure out what, what Jonathan and I were doing, um, the takeaway from me is just pray for us. Please continue to pray for us. Your prayers have gotten us as far as it ha- they have, and that is, um You know, we, our, our faith has been, um, unrocked. We s- you know, still have hope. We're still in this, fighting for our possible forever baby and our take home baby. So- Mm-hmm um, obviously that's because of all of the prayers, love, and support that we got from our family. So, um, my takeaway from all of this is, you know, please continue to show love and support for us as we continue through this journey and, um, yeah. Yeah. That's my takeaway. Yeah. What's your takeaway? No, I mean, I couldn't have said it better, really. All right. But yeah, as That's all I got. Um, but as always, this is not room service. It's womb service. Womb service. So thank you. Please follow, listen, whatever-